Love and Opposites - It is Because They Oppose That They Work Together

Body-Typing is a helpful tool because we can take a step back, observe, and remember that there was once a time that we appreciated the opposite and complimentary characteristics in our partners: it is in this way that we make our unique music together.

Without the firm shore the ocean would not . . . TarasBook.com

The Magical Embrace

My husband and I have been married for 15 years.


15 years is long enough to look back on pictures of us together and say, "Wow! Who are those kids!?"


15 years is long enough to experience growth, failure, sadness, stagnancy, joy, happiness, hope... and to become new people, together yet separately.


While it seems we know all there is to know about one another, I am still pleasantly surprised to learn something new in my hubby; something that could only have been discovered by making it this far on this particular timeline together.


So, the magical embrace... what is this?

I still remember the first time Jon and I embraced. It was like being enveloped by a warm bath on a cool and exhausting day: it was coming home to the smell of my favorite meal after months of homesickness and longing: it was sitting by the warm fire in a state of bliss that leaves you feel like you're floating, delightfully alone and simultaneously with ones most cherished friends.


Carrying this buoyant feeling for 15 years, I'll be honest, takes work.


But calling it "work" makes it sound grueling.


It doesn't have to be "work" or "grueling".


Over the years I've learned from my hubby, by his loving example, that this effort is and can be much like the "work" put into keeping a beautiful yard, preserving a prized vehicle or even preparing a meal.

Yes, it takes effort, but when done with the intention of love, caring, or pleasure, this sentiment takes the "work" out of it all.

When Jon and I mutually notice that we've hit a new level to our relationship--usually after overcoming some hardship together--we almost always seem to comment with longing for others to experience the recent treasure we've discovered, "With all the divorce out there, how many people are not experiencing what is beyond the hardship, and miss out of knowing one another on a deeper level?"


Accomplishing and overcoming together, tuning into one-another's needs and desires, light conversation, deep conversation, all help to reignite the feelings of "The Magical Embrace".

More to come on how to understand your and your partner's Body-type for Love Relationships...

Dealing with Fat Shaming - From a Former Fat Person

I literally did not know about "fat-shaming" until a couple of hours ago.


It's 4:45pm, September 8th, 2015.


I've found articles dating back to 2013 on this topic. How am I so behind-the-time on this topic? How can I be so out-of-the-loop?


... Not beating myself up about being unaware of this topic is a terrific example of how I've overcome my own self-shaming.



May I introduce you to a much younger ME? This is the body and the girl who taught me about myself and about the nature of others... and mostly, how to have compassion and how to heal.

I Wouldn't Trade my Fat-Shaming Experiences for What They Taught me...
WeightFreeWellness.com

I've weighed over 100 pounds since I was 9 years old. The average 9-year-old weighs 60 pounds.

Sure, I was sad about my clearly abnormal condition, about how kids treated me, and the underlying health conditions that disturbed my well-being, sometimes on a moment-by-moment basis.

On the outside and in public, often showed a different character. I would console classmates who beat themselves up for weighing 70 pounds or more. Then, when I finally felt confident to stand up to the bullies and no longer had issues with them, I would even stand up for others... I learned some interesting lessons; many of which I share in my book You-niversal Self-care: Improved Health Through Self-Understanding.

Somehow helping others and standing up for others (even when I suffered) helped me feel stronger...

Fat-Shaming used to be just called "bullying", "teasing" and the like. As a linguist I've recognized that we learn words by the feelings we associate with them. 

No matter what you call it, "bullying" or "fat shaming" it doesn't feel good!

While being bullied was one of the most traumatic times in my life, I also consider it a blessing in my life. I now have tools to help others... and so I share with you... with LOVE...

What I Would Tell the Young me Who Was Experiencing Fat Shaming...

• There will always be bullies. The people who are the closest to you right now may turn into bullies. Bless them and leave them be. Don't try to teach them, convince them- just let them be. It is more worth your effort to help those who are seeking help. Be the beacon of hope.

• Your response to their (the bullies) words is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Begin to identify those feelings and where they come from, without blame or attachment to a story. It's ok to feel hurt, upset and even get mad. Remember though, there is healing power in those emotions. When you turn those emotions to into fuel, to cultivate a state of more compassion and love, that their power is truly healing.

• This experience will help you to be stronger to deal with challenges in the future.

• It will be more worth your effort to seek to understand yourself, than to try to get others to understand you. 

• Beware of being played by media. Develop your own inner compass pointing to that which you value.

• Lastly, what would you say to another to help them through? Sometimes a look of "I feel you" or a warm embrace is enough. 

This is the foundation of my Weight Free Wellness online programs. Included are recipes with wellness insights, simple and effective self-exploration to develop self-compassion, advice on finding helpful resources, and much more. 

The title Weight Free Wellness means:

• We must remove the weight from our own shoulders (guilt and shame are big ones!) before we can healthfully address weight.

• When we address weight in a healthy way, the wait on weight decreases.

• The most important weight to address are the heavy emotions we take on and put on ourselves.

Start with my book You-niversal Self-care: Improved Health Through Self-Understanding.

Get the FREE Ebook and Audiobook here!

I am happy to consult and present on this topic to aid others in this very emotional journey.

Warmly,

Tara

As a side note, I have always received such media updates at just the right time. I already had on my list of "articles to write" "Shame and Weight"... Apparently it is TIME for this topic!

It's Time for the Topics of Shame and Weight to be Addressed! WeightFreeWellness.com

How to Use Your Stale Kale Chips

We all know that kale is super nutritious (and correspondingly very green-tasting).

Even though my hubby and I are quite health-conscious, we still have to dress kale up a bit...

Our favorite ways to enjoy kale is in the form of kale chips or semi-hidden in soup.

Kale chips are great for a while but one does finally get tired of them. I've tossed more packages of stale chips than I'd like to admit.

But when it comes to foods that I make, it's especially hard for me to see them go to waste.

Our favorite kale chips are those I make at home. I dehydrate them at a low temperature (about 105 degreed Fahrenheit) so they keep their health-promoting enzymes. I douse the torn pieces of kale in olive oil and then sprinkle the desired amount of garlic salt, mix well, spread on dehydrator screens and dehydrate overnight.


--- When faced with buying a store-bought brand my hubby likes the Kale Krunch by Alive & Radiant. Check out the flavors! ---

Ok, back to what I meant to write about... so what do you do (other than throwing them away) with stale(ish) kale chips? 


Toss them in your soup! That's right! No need to sauté kale, trying to get it to a palatable taste and texture, just toss in the chips and they will have great flavor and add a nice twist to things- especially veggie soup!

I did this the other day and just had to pass on the good news!

Enjoy!


PS... I dare you to tweet this! Confuse your friends ;)

Click to Tweet...


Go eat stale kale!

Many Ways to Say Thank you

(Written Memorial Day Weekend 2015)

Memorial Day Weekend 

. . . is often filled with barbecues, gatherings and relaxation and is often concluded on a sombre note as those who died in service to our country are remembered.

Mother Teresa is quoted saying, “I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”

Similarly, I am choosing to find the silver-lining in Memorial Day: that is, gratitude.

We have so much to be grateful for in this country and I thought this would be a great opportunity to share a post that I've wanted to polish-off for a while . . .

The Many Ways to Say Thank You

Whether it be a deceased veteran, a friend, or neighbor; we can all think of someone to whom we would like to express our gratitude.

Memorial Day is a great reminder to show our thanks to the many around us who have helped us in our daily battles.

The act of being grateful moves us in the direction of seeing the good in our lives- including in other people.

For today, along with sending prayers to our fallen veterans, thank someone who is in your life right now. There are so many ways to do this:

• Send a little Thank You, even if it's on a small pieces of paper saying, "I appreciate it when/that you . . ." (wash the dishes, smile so much, take care of . . .)

• Simply say "Thank you"  

• Take note of what the person to whom you'd like to show appreciation likes: food, coffee, help around the house, a kind word; (strive to know and act on their Love Language) and treat them as often as possible to this gift of appreciation and thanks!

• The best "thank you's" are when someone is not expecting it. Comment favorably on something you admire that is particular to that person, hint- what does that person appear to put a great amount of effort into? Be sincere and make it about them!

• Want an extra challenge? Most of us think that in order to convey a loving thought to someone that we need to do it by tangible means, i.e. face-to-face, over the phone or perhaps written. We can just as powerfully convey a message by sending a blessing of love, peace or forgiveness or what some may call a prayer. This is especially helpful when we feel the need to forgive, thank or recognize someone who is deceased or otherwise not part of our lives. Send a silent message. Believe me, this type of internet has been around a lot longer than that with computers as the senders and receivers!

In the end I hope the only casualty we cause is the need for war. TarasBook.com

Being in the habit of pointing out the gems in people, places and things helps us to have a more positive outlook in life and less desire to cause harm.

In the end, I hope the only casualty we cause is the need for war.

Wishing you much Peace and Love today and always,

Tara

Yes, there's more where this came from! - Subscribe here for my updates and special offers.

P.S. this all applies to the relationship one has with oneself too :)

The Greatest Challenge (and victory) is Beyond Us vs. Them

I love a good competition. Believe it or not, I actually really enjoy watching the UFC.

But I also enjoy a life that is free of the Us vs. Them mentality. 

Going back to martial arts for a moment . . . there is a principle in the finer aspects of martial arts that when you try to counteract a force with force, you waste energy and set yourself up for defeat by counter-attack.

When we find ourselves pushing back in Us vs. Them competition whether it be Men vs. Women, Ford vs. Chevy, or even the U.S. vs. another Country we set ourselves up for stagnation at best and a knock-out punch at worst.

Competition really helps us to grow when we see it as the hurdle we need to learn to surmount, rather than a barrier to beat down.

If you're going to compete with anyone, compete with yourself.

The best challenge . . . TarasBook.com

And Love . . .

What else?  I have more in store - Subscribe here!

My Other Mother

You may be My Other Mother

As you see

I see you in your many ways

Mother is an Archetype

An energy

Something we can sense

It shares many names

Mother is like a color

A frequency with a name

There is one true color

but there are also many shades

You may be My Other Mother

As I sense this nurturing energy along my way

I am reminded today to pan my life

For the women and brave men with this caring energy
Who have helped me along the way

You are easy to see

From the One who bore the most difficult task to-

Protective Aunts

Grandmothers who shower their love

In-laws who welcomed me in with ever warm embraces

Families abroad who treated me as their own

Sisterly friends with deeply caring hearts

Teachers who seemed to teach with a mission and a sense of responsibility

and those who have supported me with their consistent Love through thick and thin

And one of the sweetest acts to witness

To see someone sharing their motherly energy with another

In the purest sense - I give thanks!

While it would be great fun to deliver a happy bunch of flowers to each of you

The greatest gift I can give you is not what comes from the ground

Instead, I pluck a bit of the overgrowth from the swelling sentiment of gratitude I have budding from my heart - and share this with you . . . My Other Mother

With Love and Gratitude,

Tara

Inspired by the Word "Don't"

The other day I was at the Chiropractor's office for a much-needed adjustment. On this occasion I also received a mental adjustment.

While I waited for the doctor to attend to me in the room where I waited, I could hear his conversation drawing to a close with the prior patient. I could not hear the details of the conversation, but for some reason the word "don't" was very obvious to me.

The word beat through the wall dividing us like a bass line of a neighbor's indistinguishable yet noticeable music, racking up a count of at least 5 pulses in 30 seconds- almost always preceded by the work "I".

Perhaps because there was no context for the conversation the words "I don't" stood out so strongly. Nonetheless, the experience made an impression on me to be ever aware of my self-talk.

I can always choose the "I do . . . " alternative to the "I don't . . ." statement.

I can always choose . . .  #TarasBook

Don't let your dog eat this

Sent to me- passing it on to you.

PLEASE PASS IT ON ~ EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DOG OR
CAT, YOU SURELY KNOW
SOMEONE WHO DOES.

Checked on www.Snopes.com
and it is true.

Please tell every dog or cat owner you know. Even if you
don't have a
pet, please pass this to those who do.

Over the weekend the doting owner of two young lab mixes
purchased Cocoa
Mulch from Target to use in their garden. They loved the
way it smelled
and it was advertised to keep cats away from their garden.
Their dog
Calypso decided that the mulch smelled good enough to eat
and devoured a
large helping. She vomited a few times which was typical
when she eats
something new but wasn't acting lethargic in any way.
The next day, Mom
woke up and took Calypso out for her morning walk . Half
way through the
walk, she had a seizure and died instantly.

Although the mulch had NO warnings printed on the label,
upon further
investigation on the company's website, this product is
HIGHLY toxic to
dogs and cats.

Cocoa Mulch is manufactured by Hershey's, and they
claim that 'It is
true that studies have shown that 50% of the dogs that eat
Cocoa Mulch
can suffer physical harm to a variety of degrees (depending
on each
individual dog). However, 98% of all dogs won't eat
it.'

This Snopes site gives the following
information:
*
http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoamulch.asp*

Cocoa Mulch, which is sold by Home Depot, Foreman's
Garden Supply and
other Garden supply stores, contains a lethal ingredient
called '
Theobromine'. It is lethal to dogs and cats. It smells
like chocolate
and it really attracts dogs. They will ingest this stuff
and die.
Several deaths already occurred in the last 2-3 weeks.
Theobromine is in
all chocolate, especially dark or baker's chocolate
which is toxic to
dogs. Cocoa bean shells contain potentially toxic
quantities of
theobromine, a xanthine compound similar in effects to
caffeine and
theophylline. A dog that ingested a lethal quantity of
garden mulch made
from cacao bean shells developed severe convulsions and
died 17 hours
later. Analysis of the stomach contents and the ingested
cacao bean
shells revealed the presence of lethal amounts of
theobromine.

The Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were
driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a
parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his
brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of
the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi
driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really
friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined
your car and sent us to the hospital!'
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around
full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of
disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it
and sometimes they'll dump it on you.
Don't take it personally. Just smile , wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage
and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...
Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

(Author Unknown)

The Interview

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What is a Grandparent?

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?

(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)


Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's.


A grandfather is a man & a grandmother is a lady!


Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.


When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.


They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'


They don't say, 'Hurry up.'


Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.


They wear glasses and funny underwear.


Grandparents don't have to be smart.


They have to answer questions like "Why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?'"


When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.


Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.


They know we should have snack time before bedtime and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.


A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''


GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!


It's funny when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.'