Featured "Guest Voice" article for JessWeiner.com, author and Self-esteem expert
“Have you always been such a “natural” at speaking to large groups?”
Still, after the umpteenth time being asked this, I empathetically reply, “No, I used to be so shy simply thinking of calling a friend on the phone made me feel queasy.”
It was during the pivotal time of junior high school that I decided to become more outgoing. In this microcosm of the world, popular girls were as glitzy as movie stars, and I thought I wanted to be like them. Aside from the dramatic cat fights and bad boyfriend break-ups, they seemed to have so much fun. That, I later learned, is what I wanted to experience–fun!
Being unpopular and very shy, I had a great amount of free-time to become a studious and observant person. There was one thing that I could see that all of my fun-having peers had in common: they appeared confident.
Somewhere I learned “fake-it-‘til-you-make-it.” So I began to do this. I began to “act as if”– a well-known strategy for creating what you want in your life.
I actively and productively “acted as if” by speaking up and participating more in class, trying out for roles in plays, and challenging myself to do things that were uncomfortable yet would also not get me into trouble–I was mindful to model only the characteristics that I wanted.
The result, I can happily report, is well worth the effort! I have many rewarding experiences as an Author and Liberating Wellness Educator and met the man of my dreams because I am no longer afraid to let my “voice” be heard.'
It is now even more evident to me that true confidence has nothing to do with other peoples’ opinions. One of my favorite teachers, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, puts it this way, “It’s none of your business what others think of you.”
A person’s level of confidence is directly proportionate to the level to which they strive to see and create their own positive qualities.
True confidence can only come from yourself.
- Tara Baklund
Very good advice. This is a good one to read on those days when you are stuck in your chair and can't get motivated.
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