Contents of the Heart

The day after we put our dear kitty to sleep I thankfully had a massage appointment. It was hard to allocate the cause of my aching shoulder and head and stuffy nose to a cold or lamenting the passing of this wonderful being. I think both.

Most of the time I talk with Lynn while I am on her table. We share similar beliefs in health and wellness and perspective in life and I appreciate what she has to say. This time, I hardly said a word. She tunes in so well- knowing when to talk, when not to, and where to work.

As I lied there on my back she went about her usual pattern: head, face, neck and shoulder, arms, and then...

As she smoothly yet firmly worked over my body I was struggling to not cry. There were no adorable furry faces in my mind's eye to initiate this response- nothing- just pouring emotion. I've been working on allowing emotions to healthfully and helpfully flow from me for several years, so I gave up holding back. The tears flowed. Strangely, they stopped bubbling out of my eyes when she finished the long strokes from my upper back down my upper arms. With each soft yet firm motion I felt my heart being wrung of the grief that was brimming in my heart. As she worked the rest of my body there was no such release. Not that there was an previous doubt, but this really affirms the physical- emotional association with such 'centers' of the body.

There are so many expressions that reference the heart:
My heart leaped with joy!
My heart skipped a beat!
Heart ache
Heart break

It was refreshing, in an odd way- and afterwards I was still recovering from the release. I couldn't even visit my ever-loving mother-in-law right afterwards for fear of bursting into endless and uncontrollable tears in her ever nurturing presence.

Yes, in my path of emotional healing, this is likely what I needed, but I was not brave enough to tread into those lands.

Love comes into our heart like a fresh spring rain that is followed by summer's fertility stimulating warmth. What then is grief, pain or loss- well, to me it is the fall breeze that catches you by surprise. There is a cold dreary time of winter, but it soon passes as you allow it and don't fight it- and soon there is the refreshing... Primavera!- a time to see the beauty in life once again!