Love and Opposites - It is Because They Oppose That They Work Together

Body-Typing is a helpful tool because we can take a step back, observe, and remember that there was once a time that we appreciated the opposite and complimentary characteristics in our partners: it is in this way that we make our unique music together.

Without the firm shore the ocean would not . . . TarasBook.com

The Magical Embrace

My husband and I have been married for 15 years.


15 years is long enough to look back on pictures of us together and say, "Wow! Who are those kids!?"


15 years is long enough to experience growth, failure, sadness, stagnancy, joy, happiness, hope... and to become new people, together yet separately.


While it seems we know all there is to know about one another, I am still pleasantly surprised to learn something new in my hubby; something that could only have been discovered by making it this far on this particular timeline together.


So, the magical embrace... what is this?

I still remember the first time Jon and I embraced. It was like being enveloped by a warm bath on a cool and exhausting day: it was coming home to the smell of my favorite meal after months of homesickness and longing: it was sitting by the warm fire in a state of bliss that leaves you feel like you're floating, delightfully alone and simultaneously with ones most cherished friends.


Carrying this buoyant feeling for 15 years, I'll be honest, takes work.


But calling it "work" makes it sound grueling.


It doesn't have to be "work" or "grueling".


Over the years I've learned from my hubby, by his loving example, that this effort is and can be much like the "work" put into keeping a beautiful yard, preserving a prized vehicle or even preparing a meal.

Yes, it takes effort, but when done with the intention of love, caring, or pleasure, this sentiment takes the "work" out of it all.

When Jon and I mutually notice that we've hit a new level to our relationship--usually after overcoming some hardship together--we almost always seem to comment with longing for others to experience the recent treasure we've discovered, "With all the divorce out there, how many people are not experiencing what is beyond the hardship, and miss out of knowing one another on a deeper level?"


Accomplishing and overcoming together, tuning into one-another's needs and desires, light conversation, deep conversation, all help to reignite the feelings of "The Magical Embrace".

More to come on how to understand your and your partner's Body-type for Love Relationships...

5 Plus 8 Tips to Bring The Flame Back into Your Relationship

Remember the first days of your love relationship when you were voraciously discovering one-another? No matter how many sparks your relationship started with, it will need maintenance. But maintenance doesn't have to be work!

I write a lot of articles and do social media for our traditional Precision Machining business, Baklund R&D LLC., and in this industry I end up spending a lot of time around men. We have a great crew of guys, and one way or another I do end up learning what men do and do not like.

I am naturally a curious person and I tend to ask a lot of questions. I have to be careful as to how much I inquire of someone because it can be a bit much, so I have to learn to use this natural tendency to my and hopefully others' advantage.

From a woman to a man, too many questions can get intense and even naggy. Inquiring as to whether the garbage was taken out or the dog was walked is not a good question, it's a talking to-do list; no one likes that. And the, "When are you leaving, when will you be home, where are you going?" is a talking calendar. Let's move beyond this. This doesn't make sparks fly in any relationship.

A simple way to warm things up again is to go back to the questions you were asking when you first got together- when you were especially interested in learning about this potential "keeper" and you really desired to know more . . . you were curious.

Even after nearly 15 amazing years together my hubby and I still love reminiscing about how we met and what we first loved about one another, but after a while you need new material.

Bring Back and Keeping the Flame in Your Relationship

No matter your or your mate's Body-type, these questions are sure to stir up some of those flames once again.

Ok, first, a few Body-typing tips to be mindful of . . . I try to keep things on a progressive note, consider this a note on awareness.

If you're experiencing tension in your relationship and want to give these questions a try, each Body-type should be mindful of the following imbalanced states and strive to find your own balance to help your relationship:

Earth-type: Kicking dirt or being a stick-in-the-mud will not help rekindle a flame.

Fire-type: Flame throwing is not the way to start a romantic fire.

Air-type: Being long-winded can put out a kindling flame. Protect the sparks.

Water-type: Being cold as ice or putting a damper on things scares away the warm fuzzy feelings!

My book, You-niversal Self-care is all about finding balance.

Tips for sizzling discussion:

1. Be curious about your mate (This is different than just wanting a better relationship.)
2. If your relationship is already stressed, rather than asking your mate one of these questions- bring up the subject as if you had been asked, "You know, I just could not stand losing my sight, I would miss seeing your beautiful face so much . . ." Offer it as a gift and let it be. Don't expect and definitely don't require a response or return questions. Let him or her savor in the memory, new fantasy, the gift of love and curiosity you just gave.
3. Whether flames are glowing or not, rotate questions. Keep it interesting by only asking 1 or 2 questions per "session" and do not ask each other the same question.
4. Tip from a frequent questioner (me) . . . Even for great relationships, too much questioning can be intense. 1 or 2 sessions per week is good maintenance. If your relationship is already rocky, less is more. Try one question and let it be for a week or so.
5. Most of all, have fun!

Questions Of course, ask the ones that you can safely assume will initiate a positive response. I.e. if you had a horrible first kiss, don't bring that one up unless you both can can pee-your-pants laughing about it!

1. What about me did you fall in love with first?
2. Describe what our first hug, kiss . . . was like for you. (This is a good way to learn how to turn him or her on in the future- notice if your mate's memories are more about touch, sight, or other sensations like smell or emotion.)
3. If you lost your sense of sight, hearing or touch- which could you not bear to lose because you'd miss seeing, hearing or touching me?
4. What small area of my body do you enjoy touching because it pleases you (the toucher)? (Ex. response- "I love feeling the warm softness of your cheek against my lips." "I love feeling your silky hair slip past my fingers.")
5. What melts your heart about me? (Ex. "It melts my heart when I see you tuck our kids in at night.")
6. What is one word you never tire of me saying to you. (Pay attention to the tone that your mate has when they tell you the answer- this is a good clue to what tone or how he or she wants to hear this and other words.)
7. If we were to meet now (we hadn't been together all these years) what do you think would be a fun, funny, crazy, romantic or simply memorable way to meet? (Make up a story, this is fun! It's also a good way to stimulate ideas for dates and outings.)
8. Similar to above, recreate other "firsts". When the subject of recreating your first intimate moment comes up, have the person who is usually not the initiator in the relationship recreate this situation. Again, you'll be surprised by the ideas you didn't know you had and the mate who is usually the initiator will enjoy the initiation of at least the topic . . . and who knows where it might lead :)

This is also a great exercise in being vulnerable and learning to ask, give and receive.

Try making up your own questions. Share them here!

Have fun and here's to many more years of burning Love!

How to Know if He or She is "The One"

In this New Year of Love, Relationships and Body-typing, I'm going to start with sharing how my hubby and I met and how I knew he was "the one".

My husband Jon and I met in early 2000. As of today, we've been married for 14 fun and love-filled years! So, if you've already done the math, you know that we got married pretty quickly. We just knew . . .

I met him at his martial arts school. He was the owner and principal teacher- which of course made him even more attractive, and he is/was already super charming and handsome!

I was only 18 but I already knew my "type". You know when you crave a specific kind of food, say Thai food and more specifically, pad thai chicken? Nothing else will do; not Chinese, not Indian food, because you want the specific combination of ingredients in the pad thai dish from your favorite Thai restaurant. Convert the idea of flavors into a certain energy and magnetic attraction that you're desiring- and that's how clear I was on the guy I was meant to be with.

Now, please don't misinterpret what I'm saying. I do not mean that I had the list of ingredients that goes into making this amazing pad thai dish. My "list" was as simple as: rice, noodles, chicken and green onion. There's no need for a list, you can't replicate or trick yourself that it is or is not "the dish"; once it's in front of you; you smell it, you experience it, and you know - That's it!

So, when I first met Jon, I have to admit, yes I was very attracted- but I was clearly not the only one who felt this way about him. 

I was a bit unsure about myself and my potential of being with him. I also didn't really know if I really liked him beyond his looks and apparent enthusiasm for life and success. I originally showed up there to train and to develop myself; so that's what I focused on.

So, I trained at his school, I was me (did not put on any airs - which meant I was grounded in my Air-Element - topic of my book You-niversal Self-care) I had fun and observed how he was as a person.

Later I found out that my behavior was attractive to his Fiery (see Body-typing book) side. He was accustomed to girls chasing after him; but this ambitious man needed to do more of the chasing. He liked that I took the time to observe him and not rush into things. He admired my work-ethic at his school and could see that I had interests outside of finding a man and was an eager student like him.

We met in January, started dating in June (when I became his Spanish teacher and we were therefor we were mutually teacher-student, offsetting the no-dating-students policy) and got married in November. Quick yes. Do you just know when you know, yes! Has it been absolutely right, yes!

Still looking for "the one"? Get clear, but simple about what you want; it will be much easier to identify when he or she comes across your path. AND, Going back to the food analogy, if you know you like Thai food, you don't go to a Sushi bar! Go where you are more likely to find what you want!

More Relationship and Body-typing to come so make sure to like, follow or subscribe!

Love, Relationships and Body-typing in 2015

The most common New Year's Resolution is likely centered around health and wellness, my specialty, but I'm going to branch into some territory that I have not shared so much about . . . LOVE RELATIONSHIPS and BODY-TYPING!

Build Relationships You'd Hang Out on a Limb For 

Love has inspired people through the ages to do amazing things- and also not so glamorous but essential things; like take care of themselves because they feel better about themselves and want to live a long and healthy life with their loved-one.

So, I thought, why not teach about Body-typing and Love since they can both really promote health and well-being?

Relationships can be challenging; but unless you live deep in the woods and are totally self-sustaining . . . oh, and alone . . . you have to have relationships with people to one degree or another- from interacting with the clerk at the store to our closest loved ones.

So, let's explore different Types (the topic of my book, You-niversal Self-care) of people, their behavior patterns, when and how to stand up to them and when to perhaps back away. We're going to cover a lot here from the basics to intimate relationships, so get ready!


Stayed tuned for . . .
How I knew he was "the one"
The magical embrace - when chemistry is right
An ancient explanation to why opposites attract
The Pros and the Cons of each Body-type in Love
How to call on your elements to be an effectively strong woman - Giving a good chase
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And of course . . . for more in person, and to get your questions answered . . . schedule a consultation or event!